Category Archives: FAITH & MINISTRY

Learning to “Be Still” + Free Download – Tech Tuesday

October 20, 2015

FAITH & MINISTRY / TECH DOWNLOADS

My journey towards learning how to “be still” began well before my diagnosis with MS (you can read more about my MS story here). As a classic over-worker, I knew I needed to take time away from the chaos and accelerated rhythms I had created. My mind was constantly racing and I need to learn how to let go and rest.

After my diagnosis, things I’d been trying to implement for years were no longer optional, they were necessary. It was time to step back and let God fight for me. I simply needed to be still. 

But, as you know, that’s a lot easier said than done! It doesn’t just happen! But the more I studied one of my favourite verses about “being still,” the more I realized that I’m just like Israel. I make excuses. I blame others. I often fixate on the problem instead of the solution. 

Exodus 14:14 “The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.”

BES TILL - FREE DOWNLOAD - iphone lockscreen

When the nation of Israel is freed to leave Egypt after over 400 years as slaves, they are ecstatic! But when they find themselves on the banks of the sea, with the Egyptian army coming after them, they begin to panic and their tone of excitement and celebration transitions to one of resentment and fear. 

In Exodus 14:14, Moses says to them, “The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.” Some versions actually say, “You need only to be silent,” indicating that the Israelites may have been freaking out a little. When you look a few verses earlier in Exodus 14:11-12, you can see that a full-blown freak out was pretty much in the works as they turn to Moses and say, “Was it because there were no graves in Egypt that you brought us to the desert to die? What have you done to us by bring us out of Egypt? Didn’t we say to you in Egypt, ‘Leave us alone; let us serve the Egyptians’? It would have been better for us to serve the Egyptians that to die in the desert!

They are so fixated on their approaching problem, they forget about the faithfulness of the one who lead them out in the first place.

It made me think; how often to I just start running my mouth instead of passing my situations over to God and letting Him deal with it?

What’s going to happen? What if everything doesn’t work out? This isn’t what I thought things were going to look like. When am I going to get a break? Can’t I just give up?

“The Lord will fight for you. BE STILL.”

But God, I don’t know what to do. I’m at the edge of the water and I don’t know where to go next.

“I’ll fight for you. BE STILL.”

But what if I can’t handle the adversity that’s coming towards me?

“BE STILL.”

BES TILL - FREE DOWNLOAD - desktop background

It’s pretty hard to be still when you’re looking at the obstacles and adversities you’re facing. Israel simply needed to stop talking and let God take care of it. And He did. He split the sea so they could walk right through it. (Reminds me of a line in a pretty powerful song by Bethel – No Longer Slaves – you can listen to the song here.) 

BE STILL - FREE DOWNLOAD - ipad lockscreen

I know what my adversity is. And today I’m choosing to take my hands off, look away from what appears to be trying to take me out, and Let Him fight for me. I’m choosing to Be Still. Anyone else in?

You can download this free Be Still graphic right here:

DESKTOP    IPHONE    IPAD

TREATMENT – LEMTRADA – 2 WEEKS POST-TREATMENT + Q&A

March 24, 2015

FAITH & MINISTRY / MULTIPLE SCLEROSIS

It’s hard to believe that just two weeks ago I could barely stand and now I’ve almost returned to life as normal! On March 2nd 2015 I began 5 days of the Lemtrada infusions to treat MS, and I’m currently going on my third week of recovery! You can read the whole story here.  

Last week I returned to work after two full weeks off and although I had a hard time making it through the entire day without a nap, I was still back! I work at a college, and last week there were quite a few viruses going around, so I encouraged students to keep their distance as I tried to protect my very weak immune system from intruders. I lasted the entire week without getting sick, and Friday morning I was able to resume my place in the classroom teaching! It felt so good! 

Friday also marked the beginning of our annual leadership conference at Summit. Again, I was nervous about the potential of getting sick, but the conference, called More, is one of my favourite things we do at the college. I was also scheduled to speak for two of the four main sessions, on Saturday night and again on Sunday morning. I always have a stool ready in case I need to sit while I’m speaking, but for both messages I was able to speak standing the whole time! If you’re interested, you can listen to recordings from the conference here. (Photos from #more15 by James Bak)

More 15

More 15

Speaking at More 15 at Summit Pacific College

Yesterday I had my first post-treatment appointment with my neurologist at UBC in Vancouver. He assured me although it’s a very aggressive treatment option, Lemtrada was definitely the right choice for treatment for me at this stage in my disease. He said I’m doing very well and he expects that once I have my final round of infusions in 12 months, I should not see additional new MS symptoms for 15 years. I am incredibly hopeful and truly believe that this treatment is going to change my life. 

My energy levels feel almost normal and I’m feeling much stronger. Yesterday I went back to the gym for the first time and I ran for 42 minutes without stopping! It may not seem like much, but considering I could hardly stand 2 weeks ago, I’m pretty excited! 

Celebrating!

Celebrating a good report from the neurologist!

I’ve also had quite a few questions over the last few weeks, so I’ll attempt to answer them the best I can:

Q: So, what exactly did this treatment do? 

A: Basically, the treatment reset my immune system by binding to and depleting the immune cells (white blood cells) that are currently attacking the myelin coating on the nerves in my brain and spinal cord. Normally white blood cells are good because they attack bacteria and sickness in our bodies; but with autoimmune diseases like MS, the white blood cells are mistakingly attacking the brain and spinal cord. Now that this round of infusions is complete, all of the white blood cells in my body have been killed off and my body is now going to be working hard for the next few months to regenerate new cells they are less active against the myelin (nerve coating in my brain and spinal cord), ultimately reducing my relapses and slowing the progression of the disease. If all goes well, my body will produce new immune cells that will only attack sickness and infection instead of my central nervous system!

Q: Are all your symptoms gone now?

A: Unfortunately, no. I still have all of the same symptoms. My left ear is still partially deaf, my head still vibrates when I bite down, my arms are still numb, I still have buzzing in my legs, and I still feel an electric shock when I touch my chin to my chest. All of the same symptoms are still there. However, the neurologist said about 50% of people experience a decrease in their symptoms after about 1 or 2 years, once their brain and spine have had a chance to heal. So, although I don’t feel different yet, I’m still hopeful!

Q: Lemtrada seems like a very intense treatment option. Why did you choose such an agressive treatment? 

A: That’s easy. Multiple Sclerosis is a disease without a cure. It almost always gets worse and not better, and when you look into the future of someone with MS there are so many unknowns. Although I’m near the beginning of my disease, I already have “a pretty good handful” of lesions and in the last 10 months I’ve had 4 relapses. There are people who have it far worse, but I knew that I needed to be active in doing something to stop the progression of the disease before it progressed too far. Both Clark and I, and my neurologist agreed that for me, aggressive treatment was the best option. 

Q: Do you have to take any more medication?

A: For one month after the infusion I have to take anti-viral drugs to make up for my depleted immune system. But as for medication to treat MS, this is it! I will have one more infusion in 12 months, then I’m good for 15 years!

Q: You keep mentioning another infusion in 12 months. Do you have to have another infusion?

A: In 12 months I will go back in for 3 more day of consecutive infusions to finish off the treatment. Once that infusion is finished I should be finished the treatment! However, about 20% have a relapse after their second treatment and need to have a third infusion. I’m not anticipating that, but it does happen! 

Q: How will you know when your immune system is working again?

A: For the next 5 years I have to have to give blood and urine samples every month so they can monitor my health and screen for potential serious side effects. I have my first set of tests in a week, but I expect that it will take about 4 – 6 months until my immune system is healthy again!

I’m happy to try and answer any other questions you have!

I’ll continue to update monthly for the next few months, but so far, so good! 

YOU MAKE ME BRAVE

December 8, 2014

ENCOURAGEMENT / FAITH & MINISTRY / MULTIPLE SCLEROSIS

YOU ARE BRAVE

A couple months ago I set the words “You Make Me Brave” on my locksreen. 

It was before I was diagnosed, but I knew something was wrong with me. Clark and I were in Oklahoma speaking at a teen camp and in the pit of my stomach I knew I wasn’t okay. 

I felt weak.
I could barely stay awake for more than 6 hours. 
My left arm had been numb for 2 months.
I had a weird buzzing feeling all over my body.
When I flexed my neck downward an electric shock would shoot down my left side,
and I had lost the clarity and colour in my left eye.
 

Clearly, something was wrong. 

I went to evening service the second night of camp and fell on my knees during worship. “God, how am I supposed to preach if I can’t read my notes? How am I supposed to engage with these students if I’m too weak to stand? How am I supposed to do what You’ve called me to do when I’m not even sure how I’m going to make it through the day?” 

See, I knew I was called to preach. I knew part of my purpose was to take girls overseas. I really believed that I had so, so much more to give. 

The thought of not being able to do what I felt so strongly I was put on this earth to do terrified me. “God, I’m scared.”

As I sat knelt on the floor a familiar song began to play. The words pierced my heart as the band sang;

“You make me brave.
You make me brave.
You called me out beyond the shore into the waves. 
You make me brave.
You make me brave.
No fear can hinder now the promises you’ve made.”
 
Click on photo to link to "You Make Me Brave" by Amanda Cook

Click on photo to link to “You Make Me Brave” by Amanda Cook

I knew that my strength, bravery and hope had to come from God. I knew that no fear about my health could take away the things that He had called me to and promised me. He would make me brave.

Over the last few weeks I have been absolutely blown away at the support I have received from family, friends, and even strangers. Over and over people have said to be “Kim, you’re so brave” and to that I say “thank you.” But you need to know that my bravery doesn’t come from within me. It doesn’t come from a pep talk I give myself every morning or an optimistic attitude I’ve chose to adopt. Any bravery I possess comes from God in me. He makes me brave. Because I am His I know I can do this. Because of His Spirit in me, I know I don’t have to do it on my own strength. 

The “YOU ARE BRAVE” print in the printshop is a daily reminder that in Him, you are brave.

In everything, my bravery comes from Him. 

 

A New Endeavour

December 4, 2014

ENCOURAGEMENT / FAITH & MINISTRY / MULTIPLE SCLEROSIS

Welcome to my newest endeavour, the In Everything Blog!

Last week I shared for the first time on social media about my recent diagnosis with MS (I’m sure I’ll talk about this much more in the future). I was absolutely blown away by the response of friends, family, and even strangers who rallied around me in support. As posts and messages circulated around the web, I realized that while many were becoming aware of my condition, they were really only hearing a small part of the story. The reality is, there is only so much of my journey than I can write in a simple social media post! After a few days a mulling it over, I decided I would share my story, journey and other random pieces of my life with anyone who would read it!

My goal really is to show my passion and purpose in everything I do. I may have multiple sclerosis, but I choose not let it define or determine my life. Instead, I will take advantage of this new opportunity to share my life and the hope I’ve found with others.

Well, I don’t know exactly what I’m going to post on any given day, but I do know that I want my words to be full of hope, encouragement and purpose!

Thanks for coming along for the ride!