I recently shared my own personal story of MS. If you haven’t read it yet, you can read part one here and part two here. Here’s part three:
In the opening verses of Genesis it says “the earth was formless and void, and darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was moving over the surface of the waters” (Gen 1:2). At the beginning of creation, even before there was light, the Sprit was moving. God was there. There are many moments in my own life when things feel dark and formless, but I know that even in the unseen, He is not absent. He is there, moving in ways I can’t even comprehend.
I had just heard from the insurance company, “I’m sorry Ms. Moran, but we will not be covering your drugs.” I was shocked. I mean, we live in Canada, a country with amazing health care. How is this even possible?
I sat hunched over in my kitchen chair sobbing. I couldn’t even control it. I felt more heartbroken then I did when I was diagnosed. What was I supposed to do now? I called Clark and sent a quick text message to a couple close friends. “Please pray. Insurance denied me coverage. I’m so sad.” And I just sat and cried as the words of Steady Heart by Steffany Gretzinger played in the background. “My eyes can’t see what’s in front me, still I will trust.” (You can listen to the song here.)
I felt so strongly like God kept saying to me, “Just trust me. I have a better way.” If there was anyone observing me that afternoon I probably looked crazy. I was in the house alone but I was speaking out loud to God. “God, I’m trying. I don’t know how right now,” I kept saying over and over again. “I’m trying.”
Steady Heart continued to play, “Though the sky is dark and the wind is wild, You’ll never leave me. Though the night is long, there is a coming dawn. The light is breaking.”
At that moment the dark cloudy sky broke and a beam of sunshine flooded my work area. I just knew that He was working something out that was bigger than me.
I was so in awe when the sun broke through the clouds on Dec 12th, I snapped a picture.
“God, I will trust you.”
A few hours later I received a text from a friend, “Can I come over for a few minutes. I need to talk to you quickly.” Sure. If you don’t mind my swollen eyes, and disheveled appearance, come on over!
She sat down across the room and began to tell her that a couple had heard about my MS and that I was denied coverage by insurance. News travels fast. She was there on behalf of them to tell us that they would commit to covering the cost of the treatment! $80 000! EIGHTY THOUSAND DOLLARS! Cue the tears.
I was overwhelmed. Relieved. Grateful. I could hardly breathe.
She continued to tell us that they knew all about Lemtrada and recognized that I was a prime candidate. “Money shouldn’t prevent her from getting the treatment she needs.” Wow. For months this story had been unfolding behind the scenes and none of us had any idea. God was clearly working in the unseen.
I’ve never been the recipient of such extreme generosity, and I can’t even describe how it feels. I know that God is good and I know He cares about me, but being the recipient of a financial miracle makes me more grateful than I’ll ever be able to communicate with words. “God, I don’t know what else to say except thank you.”
A couple days later we received another phone call from another couple who wanted to help cover the costs of treatment. We joyously shared our miracle with them, explaining that the cost of treatment was already covered, but they explained that they still felt compelled to contribute. Again we witnessed God working in the unseen as they pledged to help cover some of the extra medical costs we would incur over the next year. Even the smallest details were taken care of. Again, I was left speechless. There are days I’m still speechless.
Clark & I the day we received our second phone call pledging to cover our extra expenses.
I’ve since completed all my pre-screening tests to ensure that I’m a candidate for Lemtrada and I’m currently awaiting a phone call to receive my transfusion dates. I’m ecstatic.
There are definitely moments when MS is hard. Some days I’m frustrated with my body and there are moments when I’m fearful of the future. This week I’m in the middle of another relapse. My energy and strength have been bleak and Tuesday morning I lost almost all hearing in my left ear (hearing loss only occurs in less than 5% of people with MS. Lucky me!). I’m hopeful that it will come back in the next month, but this is my life. I wish sickness and disease didn’t exist in the world, but I’m grateful that over the last six months I’ve been able to see God at work in my life in ways that I can’t explain. In the darkness, even when I can’t see Him, He is there.
In the Unwelcome. In the Unknown. In the Unseen.
In Everything, He is there.
This is my story.
He is there.
In the Unwelcome. In the Unknown. In the Unseen.
In Everything, He is there.
I will remember these words . . . and pray them. Blessings and thank you.
They are definitely powerful words. He is there.
Kim i’m so shaken and amazed by your story. Your bravery, your courage and your vulnerability are incredible. We are continuing to pray for you and Clark as you go through this journey together.
Thanks so much Nicole! That means the world!
Wow, Kim! I’ve read the first two parts, and reading this third part brought tears to my eyes. God is so good. My struggles are different, but reading what you’ve been through brings me hope that God can do cool things through my stuff too. I’m so glad that we’ve gotten the opportunity to meet the two of you when we’ve visited Summit. Keep on doing what you’re doing!
Thanks Mauriah! Believing for good things ahead!
Hi Kim!
I’ve been following your blog since you started it and your story has moved me! The fact that despite receiving this diagnosis and all the curve balls that followed it, you’ve continued to worship God – that’s truly inspiring! I’m so happy and grateful to God that lovely people have stepped up and are covering the costs of your treatment! God will keep doing amazing things through you! I know that you and Clark changed my life when I went to Discovery days in 2011! I’ll be praying for you!
Thanks so much Jasmine! We worship Him because no matter what we face in our lives, He still deserves it!! Thanks for the comment!
So thrilled to hear how God is at work and thank you for sharing your story. It is the encouragement I need as I pray for those who have suffered long with illness and desperately need a miracle.
Praying for miracles alongside you Joyce!
Oh my Kim and Clarke. Your transparency is incredible. What a blessing you will be Kim to those walking in the dark. Much love, Cheryl
Thanks Cheryl!
So thankful for how you share your story, your obedience, vulnerability, perspective and how it strengthens our Faith. Thank you Jesus for moments in the unseen and how you also show yourself in tangible ways!
Thank you Heather! And I agree; thanks Jesus!!
Hello Kim . So sorry to hear of your MS. I understand the journey seeing I had it for 12and a half years but was miraculously healed eight months ago by God while being prophesied over at my home church at the Embassy. So no lore injections, body spasms or headaches or loss of words and thoughts. So, I want to encourage you and say don’t give up even though the days are hard sometimes and the body doesn’t respond the way we want it too. You have the spunk to see God do a miracle in your life as well. Any way He wishes to do it. Give my love and best wishes to Clark, He too is a warrior that was made to win!
incredible and an incredible photo
just a wee bit late and looking at facebook. but the story will be told and retold for yrs to come and you will probably write a book about your journey with the Lord and His people……..great photo.
It’s so true! Can’t wait to tell and retell the story! There’s nothing like the Word of our testimony! Thanks for being a special part of our journey!!
Kim, your story is so moving and powerful. It inspired me to get over these little things that hold us back from God and just be with him in everything. You and Clark will be in my prayers.
May God bless you, (even more!) 🙂
Hi Kim.
I’ve been following your blog and Instagram ever since I was diagnosed with MS earlier this year (I commented earlier). I was wondering how the lemtrada worked for you? I read your Instagram posts everyday when you were on the treatment, but I was wondering how you are feeling now? Me and my parents are discussing treatment options with my neurologist and I am just trying to gather some information from people who have been where I am right now. I appreciate anything you can share and I am so grateful. Hope you are well Kim and sending you my positive thoughts
-Sharon
Sharon, I just posted a new update! I couldn’t be happier with how Lemtrada has worked so far (although the serious side-effects don’t show up until a year or two later so I can’t speak to that). Honestly though, I feel amazing, and I would highly recommend Lemtrada for any young person who still has fairly good mobility. It’s been great for me so far! Thanks for following along!