I recently shared my own personal story of MS. If you haven’t read it yet, you can read part one here and part two here. Here’s part three:

In the opening verses of Genesis it says “the earth was formless and void, and darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was moving over the surface of the waters” (Gen 1:2). At the beginning of creation, even before there was light, the Sprit was moving. God was there. There are many moments in my own life when things feel dark and formless, but I know that even in the unseen, He is not absent. He is there, moving in ways I can’t even comprehend. 

I had just heard from the insurance company, “I’m sorry Ms. Moran, but we will not be covering your drugs.” I was shocked. I mean, we live in Canada, a country with amazing health care. How is this even possible?

I sat hunched over in my kitchen chair sobbing. I couldn’t even control it. I felt more heartbroken then I did when I was diagnosed. What was I supposed to do now? I called Clark and sent a quick text message to a couple close friends. “Please pray. Insurance denied me coverage. I’m so sad.” And I just sat and cried as the words of Steady Heart by Steffany Gretzinger played in the background. “My eyes can’t see what’s in front me, still I will trust.” (You can listen to the song here.)

I felt so strongly like God kept saying to me, “Just trust me. I have a better way.” If there was anyone observing me that afternoon I probably looked crazy. I was in the house alone but I was speaking out loud to God. “God, I’m trying. I don’t know how right now,” I kept saying over and over again. “I’m trying.” 

Steady Heart continued to play, “Though the sky is dark and the wind is wild, You’ll never leave me. Though the night is long, there is a coming dawn. The light is breaking.”

At that moment the dark cloudy sky broke and a beam of sunshine flooded my work area. I just knew that He was working something out that was bigger than me. 

“God, I will trust you.”

A few hours later I received a text from a friend, “Can I come over for a few minutes. I need to talk to you quickly.” Sure. If you don’t mind my swollen eyes, and disheveled appearance, come on over! 

She sat down across the room and began to tell her that a couple had heard about my MS and that I was denied coverage by insurance. News travels fast. She was there on behalf of them to tell us that they would commit to covering the cost of the treatment! $80 000! EIGHTY THOUSAND DOLLARS! Cue the tears.

I was overwhelmed. Relieved. Grateful. I could hardly breathe. 

She continued to tell us that they knew all about Lemtrada and recognized that I was a prime candidate. “Money shouldn’t prevent her from getting the treatment she needs.” Wow. For months this story had been unfolding behind the scenes and none of us had any idea. God was clearly working in the unseen. 

I’ve never been the recipient of such extreme generosity, and I can’t even describe how it feels. I know that God is good and I know He cares about me, but being the recipient of a financial miracle makes me more grateful than I’ll ever be able to communicate with words. “God, I don’t know what else to say except thank you.” 

A couple days later we received another phone call from another couple who wanted to help cover the costs of treatment. We joyously shared our miracle with them, explaining that the cost of treatment was already covered, but they explained that they still felt compelled to contribute. Again we witnessed God working in the unseen as they pledged to help cover some of the extra medical costs we would incur over the next year. Even the smallest details were taken care of. Again, I was left speechless. There are days I’m still speechless. 

I’ve since completed all my pre-screening tests to ensure that I’m a candidate for Lemtrada and I’m currently awaiting a phone call to receive my transfusion dates. I’m ecstatic. 

There are definitely moments when MS is hard. Some days I’m frustrated with my body and there are moments when I’m fearful of the future. This week I’m in the middle of another relapse. My energy and strength have been bleak and Tuesday morning I lost almost all hearing in my left ear (hearing loss only occurs in less than 5% of people with MS. Lucky me!). I’m hopeful that it will come back in the next month, but this is my life. I wish sickness and disease didn’t exist in the world, but I’m grateful that over the last six months I’ve been able to see God at work in my life in ways that I can’t explain. In the darkness, even when I can’t see Him, He is there. 

In the Unwelcome. In the Unknown. In the Unseen. 

In Everything, He is there. 

This is my story. 

PART 1 | PART 2