Category Archives: ENCOURAGEMENT

What I’d Do For A Good Body

March 2, 2016

My eyes darted across the room to my reflection in the mirror. My head turned away, frustrated, disgusted by the figure I saw, but I couldn’t help but glance back. I was tormented by the imperfections that overwhelmed me, but I couldn’t stop examining them. I pinched at any skin I could get my hands on and sucked in as I angled sideways. I just wanted a good body. A hot body. Thin thighs and a concave stomach. And I was willing to do anything to get it.

At 14 I was terrified to be fat. Terrified. At less than 100 lbs it should have been the last thing on my mind, but I didn’t stop thinking about it. I skipped breakfast, avoided lunch, and purged my dinner the moment I could find time alone. I wanted a good body, and I was willing to starve myself to get it.

By 16 I realized that avoiding food meant dodging too many questions, so I ate. I ate and I purged in secret. Anything I felt was too much for what my body needed, I got rid of the moment I could find a bathroom. I wanted a good body, a hot body, and I was willing to secretly haul nutrients out to get it.

For years I struggled with my body image. Hating my body, wishing I could change it. Coveting girls with smaller breasts and thin thighs. I swung drastically from an unhealthy preoccupation with food to not caring at all what I put in my body (believing that if I concerned myself with food I would fall back into old habits). All of my understanding of what it meant to have a good body was purely visual. Good bodies = hot bodies.

It took time, but I eventually learned how to love myself and treat my body better. Although, I still had some pretty skewed ideas about body that I didn’t even realize were there. I was happy with who I was and content with how I looked, but deep down, I still craved a good body. Who doesn’t want to be hot?

Before we turned 30, Clark and I were both determined to be in the best shape of our lives. We loved running and working out together and had made a pledge to be at our peak physical fitness by our 30th birthdays. We wanted to be healthy, sure, but there was some visual motivation to look good too!

That year leading up to my 30th birthday brought on challenges I could have never imagined. I was determined to work hard for that killer bod, but something was going wrong. I just couldn’t keep up. My body wasn’t working the way it was supposed to.

2 days before my 30th birthday, instead of celebrating my new rock hard abs, I sat in a neurologists office and learned that I had Multiple Sclerosis. My body was failing. I struggled to climb a set of stairs. Some days I could hardly hold my body weight upright. I had lost muscle mass and my body was failing me. I was thin, but I didn’t care. That didn’t matter anymore. I can remember turning to Clark and uttering the words, “I’d do anything for a good body.”

Not thin thighs. I needed strong legs that could carry me.
Not sculpted abs. I needed a frame that could hold me.
Not limited food. I needed nutrition that would fuel me.
I just wanted a good body. Like, an actual good body.

Today my eyes darted across the room to my reflection in the mirror. The edge of my lips turned up into a smile as I looked confidently at my reflection. I was unbothered by the imperfections reflected back at me. Today I was determined to find strength. Strength to walk. Strength to live. Strength to be. I want a good body. A strong, capable body that won’t fail me. A nourished, healthy body that will carry me through the day. I’ll do anything for a good body, but that’s means something completely different to me today than it once did.

There are so many days now I wish I could go back to that 14 year old girl who abused and destroyed the body she had. I wish I could go back and help her see how awesome she could feel, and even look, if she fuelled her body for the life she really wanted to live. I wish the years I had with a good body were better used. If only I knew then what I know now.

Let’s change what a “good body” means and do whatever it takes to keep our bodies good for as long as we can. You in?

THERE IS HOPE + FREE TECH DOWNLOAD

December 8, 2015

ENCOURAGEMENT / TECH DOWNLOADS

If you stop and think about it for too long, the world seems pretty dark. Thousands of people are battling cancer and other life-altering diseases. Innocent people are grieving loses from sickness, war and terrorism. It seems like more and more people are living through the pain of broken relationships, rejection and abandonment. While we may be fully immersed in the “the most wonderful time of the year,” we are constantly reminded that the holidays are really difficult for some people. It doesn’t matter how jolly St. Nick is, or how loud you blast Deck the Halls, the world just feels really, really broken. Maybe because it is.

But here’s what I love about Christmas: There is hope.

Christmas isn’t just about the gifts, the lights and families coming together. It’s far more than sleigh bells and happy elves. Christmas it about hope. Hope is not just wishful thinking or a fleeting thought that maybe, just maybe, things will change; It’s a confidence in something immovable, unshakable, and unchanging. It’s the unwavering belief that because God recognized that the world was broken, He sent His boy into the world so that we could hold onto the hope that this little baby, Jesus, would change the course of history and offer us a solution from the brokenness and pain.

Even when everything else in my life feels unstable and out of control, I know that hope is the anchor of my soul. It’s my hope in who Jesus is and what I know He came to this earth to do that keep me grounded.

I choose to believe that the world can change; that sickness can be healed and terrorism can be no more. But even if things don’t change; if innocent people continue to die and sickness continues to destroy my body, I will not be shaken. I will continue to place my hope in a God who has proven himself trustworthy again, and again.

There is hope, and I choose to anchor myself to that hope, so that when the storms come my way, I will not be moved. It’s in this hope that I find joy, peace, and real life. It’s through this hope that I understand love. It’s this hope that gives me the strength to keep going.

Whatever your story is this year; Wherever you find yourself; There is hope and His name is Jesus.

You can download this free THERE IS HOPE graphic right here:

DESKTOP IPHONE IPAD

Why You Should Give More – FEATURING SENDTIMENT CARD BOX

October 23, 2015

ENCOURAGEMENT / GIFTS & GENEROSITY

This past week I’ve been absolutely blown away at the support and encouragement I’ve received as I underwent a series of steroid infusions to treat a recent MS relapse (you can read more about it here). I can’t say thank you enough to those who sent notes, cards and gifts! It’s amazing how simple words and gestures can bring such life to someone!

These incredibly kind gestures got me thinking; Giving, whether it’s our time, a note, gifts, or whatever, can have a huge impact on everyone involved. As I’m looking around at the love that’s been poured out on me this week, all I can think about is how I need to make it more of a priority in my life to give to the people around me.

Here’s why:

1. Giving Reminds Us That We Need Each Other

I’ve said it a million times over the last year, I’m sure, but I’m learning more and more everyday that we need each other. Sure, we can try to do it on our own, but the truth is, we often need people to come alongside us. We need community. When you give it reminds you that you have a part to play in the lives of the people around you. Whether you’re meeting a need in someone else’s life, or they’re meeting one in yours, we need each other.

2. Giving Changes Your Perspective

I don’t know about you, but if I’m not careful, when life get’s stressful or difficult, I can become so consumed with simply trying to survive, that I miss what I was really put on this earth to do. I don’t ever want to get distracted by my own problems that I fail to remember why I’m really here. When you choose to give, it shifts your perspective from yourself to how you can help someone else. We all need a good perspective change sometimes. At least I do!

3. Giving Inspires Change.

Receiving a gift or a note is such a special thing. It makes you feel loved, thought of, and cared about. It’s amazing really. Every time I receive any kind of gift or note from someone it makes me want to pass on the same feeling to someone else. When we give, we inspire others to do the same thing. Giving inspires change.

This is why I love the idea behind the Sendtiment Card Box! This brand new Canadian Card Box company is on to something! You get this killer box full of amazing cards and gift tags, then you get to pass on the love until your cards are all used up! I love it! I’m always on the look out for things that can inspire, empower and motivate me to be better in everything I do, and when I heard about Sendtiment Card Boxes, I knew I had to share!

I was overjoyed to receive this box from Sendtiment! I couldn’t wait to rip into it! But as soon as I opened the lovely pastel pink box, I shifted from a frantic “let me in there” to a deep breathe in, and an “oh that’s so nice” as I opened the handwritten card and slowly unfolded the tissue paper wrap. I was so blown away at the great content in this box!

The featured cards this month were from Sea & Lake Paper Co. They’re cards are fun and quirky and will, without a doubt, brighten someones day! The boxed contains 5 fun cards, a cute “Feeling Super Productive” notepad, and my favourite part, 4 fabulous gift tags! I love them!

I can’t wait to share these goodies! I’ve already begun planning how to I want to give each of these these cards and gift tags! I can’t wait!

I know there are tons of different subscription boxes out there, but the thing I love about this one is that it’s not just about consuming more stuff. It’s really about getting a box of products that you can use to make someone else’s life better. That’s what I’m all about.

And you know I love a good tech download! You can get this wallpaper (below) for your tech on their website, right here!

Now go! Order your November Cardbox now! There are a limited number of boxes, so don’t miss out! You can order one month at a time for $20, or save cash when you order a 6 or 12 month subscription. This is a GREAT gift for someone who “hates gifts” because you can just tell them, “I know you don’t like stuff, so I got you something you can giveaway!”

YOU GOT THIS + FREE DOWNLOAD

March 28, 2015

ENCOURAGEMENT / TECH DOWNLOADS

This phrase keeps popping up lately, “You got this.” It became my mantra after Clark bought me a t-shirt stating the phrase, and during my week of treatment (You can read about that here), it was echoed by friends and family who were cheering me on!

Sometimes when things get hard I want to quit. It’s a lot easier to give up than to push through. Whether I’m struggling to keep up, pushing the final few hundred meters of a run or facing my unknown future, I just keep telling myself, “You got this.”

I often change my tech backgrounds to remind myself of little truths I need to let sink in. I thought I’d share one of my favourite little phrases with you. You can download this graphic for your desktop, phone, or tablet by clicking on the links below! Enjoy!

DESKTOP IPHONE IPAD

WHEN YOU’RE TOO TIRED TO KEEP FIGHTING

January 18, 2015

ENCOURAGEMENT / MULTIPLE SCLEROSIS

Most of the time I’m a fighter. Whatever comes my way I simply refuse to accept defeat. I refuse to quit.

I think fighting is good. I think it’s important to continue to hold onto hope and do whatever you can to keep going, but sometimes you just get too tired to fight. Sometimes I feel too tired to fight.

The last two weeks I’ve been in the middle of a relapse. The kind of MS I have means that I have periods of remission where some of my symptoms get better, but I also periodically have attacks or relapses that cause symptoms to flareup, or new symptoms to arise. MS is always challenging, but during a relapse it’s exhausting, frustrating, and discouraging.

Usually when I’m experiencing a low time I turn on worship music and just let it play until I’m reminded of God’s love and majesty, but with this relapse affecting my hearing, I couldn’t listen to music without immense frustration. I needed to find something else to remind me of my purpose.

As I lay discouraged on my bed a few days ago I stared at the words “Be Still” framed above my headboard. I wanted nothing more than to just be still.

In the Bible there’s this story of Moses, a guy who had been instructed by God to lead his people, who had been the slaves of the Egyptians for more than 400 years, into freedom. As they leave Egypt, the Egyptians come after them and the people become scared and get frustrated with Moses because they’re scared they are going to die in the desert. After explaining to them that God will see them through he says to them, “The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.” Exodus 14:14

THE LORD WILL FIGHT FOR YOU; YOU NEED ONLY TO BE STILL.

You can buy this 8.5 x 11 print from the In Everything Print Shop or by clicking on the image above.

In the moments that I am discouraged, frustrated and scared of what’s ahead, I need to remember the things that God has promised me. I need to be still; take my hands off and let Him fight for me. It’s not that I’m giving up, but I’m choosing to put my life in the one who can control far more than I could ever understand.

When you’re too tired to keep fighting, Be Still. Let Him fight for you.

MY 2015 RESOLUTIONS

January 1, 2015

ENCOURAGEMENT

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HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Clark and I have been blown away this past year at the love and support we’ve received by family, friends and strangers! I can’t say it enough, THANK YOU! I’m so excited for 2015! I seriously can’t contain my excitement!

I know some people aren’t big on New Year’s Resolutions, but I love them. I’m always trying to determine what changes I can make to do better and achieve the things I want to accomplish. Maybe some of my resolutions will help you get going too!

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1. RUN A HALF MARATHON

Before I was diagnosed with MS, Clark and I had determined that we would run a half marathon together. Unfortunately as my health deteriorated, so did my training schedule. For some of you running a half marathon may seem like a easy goal (for most of you, probably not!), but for me it’s something I wondered if I’d ever be able to do again. As soon as I complete treatment I hope to begin a new training schedule that will have me running 21 km’s by fall! I’m still not sure how difficult it will be, but I’m going to try! I’ll keep you posted on my progress! If you have any tips, please share!

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2. TRY ONE NEW THING EVERY MONTH

A couple years ago my friend Heather told me about her goal to try one thing she’d never done before every month for an entire year. I loved the idea and this year I’m going to do the same! I haven’t decided yet what I’m going to do each month but I’ll start to brainstorm this week! Any suggestions?

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3. READ THROUGH THE WHOLE BIBLE IN CHRONOLOGICAL ORDER

My Bible is my roadmap for every day life. I’ve read the whole Bible before, but never in chronological order. This year I’m going to follow the ESV Chronological One-Year reading plan! It requires about 3 chapters each day, so I’ll need to stay disciplined! Anyone else in?

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Well, these are my goals for 2015! I’ll likely post updates throughout the year, partly for accountability! I’d love to hear about your resolutions for this year. What are you planning to accomplish in 2015? (Huge thanks to my sister Lindsay at Olive West Photography for the pics!)

GOAL SETTING SUCCESS

December 31, 2014

ENCOURAGEMENT

goalsetting

Every New Year’s Eve I join the millions of people around the globe who set new goals for the new year. Goal setting is an active part of my daily life and this time of the year is no exception! I’m looking forward to the year ahead and working hard to make sure I set myself up for success in every way possible. Over the years I’ve noticed a few things that help me stick to my goals and resolutions.

1. BE SPECIFIC

It’s easy to come up with lofty plans for what we want to accomplish in a year, but I find the more broad I am, the less likely I am to get the results I really want. Instead of aiming: “To get in better shape” I narrow it down and resolve to “Run 10km in less than 1 hour.” It gives you something more specific to work toward and a more measurable success.

2. SET DEADLINES

It’s easy to launch off full force in January with the best of intentions, but staying motivated is another story. Set weekly or monthly deadlines to track your success all year. If you want to run 10km in less than 1 hour by the end of the year, consider aiming to run 1 km without stopping by the end of January, 2 km in February, 3 by March, and so on. Don’t get discouraged if you don’t meet a deadline; it’s never to late to adjust your plan and refocus.

3. KEEP IT VISIBLE

Tape it to your bathroom mirror, make it your desktop background or lock screen, or set a reminder alarm every day or every week. Keeping your goals visible helps to keep them at the forefront of your mind. If you find you’re overlooking the reminders you set, change them up every month. After the first week you may start to ignore the alarm reminders. If that happens find something else you can do that’s more effective. Keep changing it up!

What are your goals for 2015?

THOUGHTS FROM THE WAITING ROOM

December 18, 2014

ENCOURAGEMENT / MULTIPLE SCLEROSIS

I scanned the waiting room full of people and my heart sank. I watched a woman in her 40’s struggle to shuffle across the room with her walker and another woman who I later found out was 41 limp towards the washroom as she leaned on her teenage daughter for support. My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a motorized scooter carrying a woman who couldn’t have been much older than me. Across the room I noticed a young girl in her early 20’s who was soon called into her appointment and moved much more slowly than a girl her age should. I could feel my heart getting heavy.

This is the unwelcome reality of MS.

On Tuesday I had an appointment at the MS Clinic at UBC in Vancouver. My neurologist, a specialist in MS, sees only patients with the disease so I knew that each of these women were suffering from the multiple sclerosis.

Maybe I’ve been too optimistic since I was diagnosed, but I hadn’t really prepared myself for the reality that MS is often a disabling disease. I mean, I knew the prognosis and I’ve had terrible dreams that I was wheelchair bound, but I wasn’t really ready for this. Was this my future? If so, how long did I have?

I recognize that there is small percentage of people with MS who go on to live very normal, active lives, but there are also many who suffer greatly from the disease. I guess I always thought that I would be one of the lucky ones. I wish I could predict that.

So, what am I supposed to do? Fear was creeping in and for a moment I began to let my mind wander. I can’t lose hope.

hopeanchorsmysoul

“We have this as a sure and steadfast anchor of the soul, a hope that enters into the inner place behind the curtain” Hebrews 6:19 ESV

I believe in God and I trust in Him. My hope doesn’t emerge from wishful thinking or failure to face my present realities; It comes from the truth that God is unchanging, immovable and constant in my life regardless of my circumstances. This hope is an anchor for my soul. Even in the midst of the wind and waves from the biggest storm I’ve ever experienced, my hope keeps me from drifting away into fear of the unknown.

I am hopeful. Not because of the potential of new treatments or because I’ve mustered up enough positive thoughts to keep me going. I am hopeful because I know that no matter what my future looks like, I look forward to the hope that one day the world will like God originally designed it to be. My hope is built on nothing less.

In everything, I put my hope in the one who anchors me.

(This “Hope Anchors My Soul” Print is now available for pre-order in the print shop!)

TRY AND STOP ME

December 9, 2014

ENCOURAGEMENT

Available in 8.5 x 11 print in the InEverything printshop

A few weeks ago someone asked me to describe myself in one word.

“Determined” I responded without skipping a beat.

That evening I asked Clark the same question. “How would you describe me in one word?”

“Hmm. I don’t know. Probably, determined.” I laughed. At least I’m self aware?

Determined:

: having a strong feeling that you are going to do something and that you will not allow anyone or anything to stop you : not weak or uncertain : having or showing determination to do something

One thing I know about myself for sure is that if I feel strongly that I need to do something, I won’t let anyone or anything get in my way. At least I try not to. This may occasionally rear itself as a childlike temper tantrum, but most of the time I refrain from stomping my feet and pouting my lip. My goal is to make intentional decisions on a daily basis to not quit something I feel deeply convicted about.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned in my life it’s that there are always things that will try and get in the way of my dreams, ambitions, calling and future. We have the choice to face them with fear, and apprehension, or to face them with boldness and courage.

There will always be set backs, obstacles, and uncertainties, but I challenge you to adopt this simple phrase today: Try And Stop Me!

In Everything I put my mind to, try and stop me.

YOU MAKE ME BRAVE

December 8, 2014

ENCOURAGEMENT / FAITH & MINISTRY / MULTIPLE SCLEROSIS

A couple months ago I set the words “You Make Me Brave” on my locksreen.

It was before I was diagnosed, but I knew something was wrong with me. Clark and I were in Oklahoma speaking at a teen camp and in the pit of my stomach I knew I wasn’t okay.

I felt weak.

I could barely stay awake for more than 6 hours.

My left arm had been numb for 2 months.

I had a weird buzzing feeling all over my body.

When I flexed my neck downward an electric shock would shoot down my left side,

and I had lost the clarity and colour in my left eye.

Clearly, something was wrong.

I went to evening service the second night of camp and fell on my knees during worship. “God, how am I supposed to preach if I can’t read my notes? How am I supposed to engage with these students if I’m too weak to stand? How am I supposed to do what You’ve called me to do when I’m not even sure how I’m going to make it through the day?”

See, I knew I was called to preach. I knew part of my purpose was to take girls overseas. I really believed that I had so, so much more to give.

The thought of not being able to do what I felt so strongly I was put on this earth to do terrified me. “God, I’m scared.”

As I sat knelt on the floor a familiar song began to play. The words pierced my heart as the band sang;

“You make me brave.

You make me brave.

You called me out beyond the shore into the waves.

You make me brave.

No fear can hinder now the promises you’ve made.”

Click on photo to link to “You Make Me Brave” by Amanda Cook

I knew that my strength, bravery and hope had to come from God. I knew that no fear about my health could take away the things that He had called me to and promised me. He would make me brave.

Over the last few weeks I have been absolutely blown away at the support I have received from family, friends, and even strangers. Over and over people have said to be “Kim, you’re so brave” and to that I say “thank you.” But you need to know that my bravery doesn’t come from within me. It doesn’t come from a pep talk I give myself every morning or an optimistic attitude I’ve chose to adopt. Any bravery I possess comes from God in me. He makes me brave. Because I am His I know I can do this. Because of His Spirit in me, I know I don’t have to do it on my own strength.

The “YOU ARE BRAVE” print in the printshop is a daily reminder that in Him, you are brave.

In everything, my bravery comes from Him.